i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
