He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
