Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
time to smoke my breakfast
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
