you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There's always time for handjobs
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
