So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
