dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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