wrigley field is MILF paradise
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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