just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
