I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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