The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The feeling are messing with the penis
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
