This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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