when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
