She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
