margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
