I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is this the sara with the beer cane?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
