Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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