I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
