And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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