babies were throwing up all over the place
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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