I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
