I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
