Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We got so high we made milksteak
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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