This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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