It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My ATM looks so different sober.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
How drunk are you?
Completed.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
