Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
