I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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