his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize