And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I smell stomach acid.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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