Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
