dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
