You work out of a Hotel?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
