You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He better not be in your backpack
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
