You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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