So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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