Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
