you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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