They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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