someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize