Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize