yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
