mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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