We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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