after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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