I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
