she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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