her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
