he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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