Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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