We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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