Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
