i need an iv and a liver transplant
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
