i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
