One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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