If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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