Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize