It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
