youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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