As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
