I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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