you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
