didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
