Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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