can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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