I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They took my balls.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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