is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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