Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize