My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
