he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
