I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You were trust falling into bushes
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
