Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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