I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
