he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize