He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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