all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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