u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
