I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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