normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
