I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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